


A moment in time

by WinteryFall



Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Hurt/Comfort, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Sleepy Cuddles, Slight Panic Attack, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-25
Updated: 2017-05-25
Packaged: 2018-11-04 18:04:58
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 6,248
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10996137
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WinteryFall/pseuds/WinteryFall
Summary: After a rough mission, Steve finds his closest subordinate in a less-than stable state and stays beside him to comfort the shaken man. Their small moment of levity allows them to discuss about things that have plagued their minds for a while, although it evolves into something else eventually.Also, Bucky calls Steve out for bullshit because of course he does.





	A moment in time

Steve knocks on the door, but gains no answer.  
After a moment, he pushes the wooden door open cautiously. It makes a small sound, that sounds much louder in the quiet house, than it would normally.

"Bucky?"

At first, Steve sees nothing; the whole room is dark. 

Then, he sees a figure crouched down at the side of the bed. The captain closes the door, and walks to Bucky, who was sitting beside the bed with his chest bare, head pressed against the mattress while his arms were wrapped around his stomach. 

It was clear he'd been having a rough moment just seconds before Steve walked in, because there were still droplets of cold sweat on his face, and Bucky was breathing faster than normal, pale like a sheet.

Without word, Steve sits down, and places a hand on his shoulder gently.

He did not say anything, for the captain doubted he could make this better with words. He just remains there, by Bucky's side, until he comes back from whatever dark corner his mind had gone into. Slowly, he turns his head slightly to look at Steve, giving him a weak smile.

"Hey."

His voice was soft, and still shaky, but he was managing himself pretty well right now.

"Rough night so far?" Steve asks softly, brushing some of the sweat-slick hair off Bucky's face. It should probably be cut down a little soon, given how it was near the maximum length for army regulation.

"Coulda say so." Bucky mutters out, closing his eyes and taking in a deep breath.

Steve scoots closer, so he could gingerly rest his head on Bucky's shoulder, petting his back with his hand. 

Bucky's skin felt damp and cold, like it always did after a moment of silent panic. 

Steve felt awful about this; he could not do anything for Bucky when it came to this. He could punch dozens of Hydra member and Nazis, but he could not dispel the trauma and fear installed into the brown-haired man who was silently shaking apart from the seams.

"Wanna talk about it?" 

Steve asks after a moment of silence, just squeezing Bucky's further shoulder, while his lips pressed against the one he was leaning on. 

Things like this; it was not something they shared with anyone else. Small gestures of affection, touches that went beyond the norms of a friendship, no one else needed to know.  
"Not really, no." Bucky sighs after a moment, turning his head to the side to face Steve, while still letting it rest against the lumpy mattress.

"Okay."  
Steve whispers simply, sliding the hand down from his shoulder to Bucky's back. He repeats this gesture a couple of times, knowing it would help Bucky root himself to reality.  
After a moment, the blue eyes close and Bucky hums with a slight, exhausted smile, enjoying the tender touch.

"For a guy who's got a sharp tongue, you got a soft touch."  
Steve huffs and rolls his eyes at that.  
"Someone’s never happy I see; when I try to be nice, Sergeant still finds something to complain about"  
Bucky chuckles a bit, shaking his head.  
"I wasn't complaining." 

His tone was low, still little shaky on the edges, but it held the same affectionate note like these moments always did.

They stay silent, listening to the wind blowing outside. Some of the cold air was seeping into the room, right into their bones. As Bucky shivers a bit due to this, Steve shifts and tugs the brunet gently into his lap, letting Bucky rest his head on Steve's shoulder in turn.

He was still wearing his uniform - the formal one, not the Captain America one - and some of the medals probably felt uncomfortably cold against Bucky's bare skin, but he did not seem to care as he just relaxed there, against Steve's warmth. 

The blond man kept tracing circles on Bucky's back, trying to enjoy this serene moment as long as he could before the chaos of war would eat them alive again. Bucky seemed to do the same, eyes closed and face nuzzled against Steve's neck, taking in as much of his warmth as he could.

"Peggy...Agent Carter said that we got new Intel we are going to look into tomorrow."  
Bucky hums quietly, not moving an inch. 

Steve could not stop but feel a mixture of conflicting emotions upon mentioning that name.  
It was hard to love two people the same time like this.

Or rather, love one person who was appropriate, and long for another who was not.

"You can call her by her name, I don't mind."  
Bucky whispers to him gently, and lifts his hand to brush Steve's cheek.  
"I know. You've said that before." Steve sighs with a smile.  
"Listen to me for once, then." Bucky lifts his head to give him a pointed look, and Steve laughs quietly, afraid to raise his voice as if that would break the silent moment.  
"You know I have a bad track record with that."

Bucky gives him a 'no shit' look, making Steve laugh even more, although still quietly.

The laughter doesn't last long though, as he keeps looking at Bucky, the way his eyes were weighed, the way his whole body felt like led in Steve's arms, like he did not have the energy to move an inch.

"Still... I wish..." he tilts their foreheads together, brushing a hand against his companion's cheek; Bucky honestly needed a shave, but amidst of the war it was hard to find time for something as trivial as that. Bucky just hums pleased at the touch, closing his eyes.

"It's fine; she's definitely a dame worthy of you - whenever you are worthy of her is debatable."  
Steve rolls eyes at Bucky, but had to agree.

"Don't feel bad about it. We love who we love." Bucky reminds him, brushing his nose against Steve's cheek in turn. It made Steve shiver lightly and he shifts his head a tiny bit to ghost their lips together for a moment. 

It had always been like this; ghosting, hiding these bits of affection and longing away from people's eyes, but when in private, it became much harder to resist, especially after the serum.  
"I just wish I could somehow keep you both. Love you both openly without judgment."  
"People will judge no matter what Steven. We're judgmental pieces of shit by nature." The brunet reminds him with a half-smirk, the kind that made Steve want to kiss him just to wipe it off his face.  
"I know. Can't guy dream?"

Bucky snickers at that, and then lifts his hand to brush Steve's cheek, before slipping it into his hair, brushing their noses together the same time.

"Can't say I disagree. I'd love to kiss you all over in public just to let 'em know how cute you are when you blush all the way to your ears."

There was a teasing tone to his voice, and predictably, Steve blushes at the thought.  
"Talking 'bout kisses..." Bucky's tone is hushed, and Steve's stomach flares with anticipation as Bucky's lips ghost over his, before pressing against them gently.

For a guy with an intense sniper's gaze and extreme knife skills, Bucky's lips were soft. 

Almost everything else about him was solid and rough, sharpened and hardened by the battles of war and the horrors he'd witnessed. Even the muscles Steve knew so intimately were solid beneath his touch. 

Bucky's skin however, held the same softness as his lips.

The kind that made you want to touch, to explore, and taste it.

Bucky shifts in his lap, so he's straddling Steve, arms around his neck now as they kiss, their breaths mingling flame-hot against the cool back-drop of the room.

Eventually the brunet pulls back, opening his eyes to gaze at Steve. 

The blackness of his pupils had widened, swallowing parts of the nowadays greyish blue color. It was almost if all the smoke and death had dulled the before intense sky-blue tone of his eyes with their monotone colors.

It did not matter to Steve one bit; he always found Bucky's eyes captivating, especially when he was looking at him with the kind of look that burned Steve's insides in a pleasant manner.  
"Really, don't feel bad. You'll be happy with her." Bucky tells him softly, petting Steve's head gently.  
This answer, obviously, did not satisfy the captain.

"But how about you? I don't want you to...having to let me go over this."  
Bucky huffs softly, kissing the corner of his mouth.  
"I doubt you'll have to worry about that."

His tone was grim and dark, and Steve tightened his hold around the man, knowing what those words meant. Bucky was almost always convinced he would not make it out of this battle alive. Steve kept trying to keep his faith up, but it did not seem to work.

Sometimes Steve wondered in fear, if Bucky wanted to lose himself in the war, just so he would not have to hand Steve over to Peggy.

Their lips meet again, this time the kiss has a desperate quality in it, mainly from Steve, who just doesn't know what to do with all these emotions he had inside him.  
He loved and adored Carter; she was a fine woman, the kind that made his heart swell with pride and affection. But he also loved Bucky.  
Bucky was able to reach and understand him in a level nobody else could, and he'd always been a solid bedrock for Steve to lean on. Having to choose between these two was torture, and not something he wanted to do.

After a while, Bucky slowly pushes him down against the cold wooden floor, keeping his lips pressed against his mouth as he undoes Steve's tie, pulls off his military uniform, until the only thing covering his chest was the white undershirt. 

Steve slips his arm around Bucky's waist, holding him tighter against his body, as if trying to gain as much warmth from the heavy form above him as he could. Bucky's arms caress his sides, eventually slipping under his shirt to feel the skin beneath. His hands felt rough and calloused against Steve, but he enjoyed the touch, shivering in delight as he felt it. 

He moves the hand that had been resting on Bucky's neck and slides it down his spine, rubbing at the lower back just a little bit, but it was enough to make the brunet sigh in pleasure, and he tilts his head to kiss Steve a bit deeper now.

As it often happened during these moments, the heat between them grew gradually, until both men were panting, hands restless and roaming everywhere, kisses deep and messy, both of them feeling molten heat under their skin.

Once Bucky pulls back a bit, they both were breathing heavily, heartbeats racing in unison.  
"The floor is kinda cold." Steve manages to comment after a moment, gaining a slight, almost sly smile from Bucky.

He leans closer, nuzzling against Steve's neck, lips pressing warm against the skin there.  
"Let me warm you then, doll." 

Steve would have normally groaned at the teasing nickname, but right now he wanted nothing more but Bucky's hands on him, his mouth, his tongue, so he just huffs and pushes himself up, nodding towards the bed.

Bucky says nothing, just gets off Steve and pulls him up, before pushing him against the mattress and climbing on top of him again with now a slightly predatory stare.

Not that many knew it - they could guess and speculate of course, since Bucky had a reputation - but the man was near miracle worker in the bedroom, and Steve would always come out from his attentions wordless and vulnerable in a manner nobody else could make him feel. 

Nor was allowed to; Steve would not bare his throat to somebody the way he'd surrender his body under Bucky's care, having complete faith in the man's touch.

Bucky places a slow, intimate kiss to his lips, before slowly removing his shirt, exploring the planes of Steve's chest with his mouth now, lips and tongue and teeth working together in a manner Steve sometimes felt was illegal, but he enjoyed it regardless, closing his eyes with a soft moan as he let his mind focus on the pleasant sensation Bucky's touch caused.

The boys sometimes joked that Bucky could probably charm Mussolini to sign a peace-treaty, which both Steve and Bucky usually just laughed off.

Steve let out a small mewl as he felt Bucky's teeth pierce his skin a bit, before swiping his tongue over the same area. There was heat building up to Steve's groin, but he knew Bucky liked to take his time; he wanted Steve to be in near-begging state usually, before giving him what he wanted.  
It was agonizing in the sweetest way possible, and it was one of those things convincing Steve that Bucky could not just make somebody sign a peace treaty. He could probably make a king or a queen hand over their entire fortune, even their country, just to have him give them the sensations Steve was having right now.

Except, of course, Bucky would only do this for Steve; he only put all his heart and focus into it if it was Steve. 

The man was nuzzling at Steve's waist now, just above his pants' waistband. Steve props himself up to look at Bucky, and as the man feels his gaze, he moves back up to press their lips together in a slow, intimate kiss. It made Steve shiver, and he mingles his fingers into the brown hair to hold Bucky there just a while longer, enjoying the taste of his lips. 

It was usually a mixture of whiskey, cigarette smoke, and gunpowder. After at least a minute, Bucky pulls back, just hovering over Steve for a moment, examining him with a look that raked down Steve's body heavily like an actual touch. 

No one else had ever looked at Steve like this, not even after the serum. Sure, he'd gotten more women interested in him, but none of them had the same, bone-deep love and longing in them, and this included Peggy. 

Eventually, Bucky's hands slide down his sides, his hips, and undressing Steve rest of the way. It was cold, lying bare like this in the chilly room, but it only made Bucky's warm touch feel twice as hot, which felt good against him. 

The brunet leans back down, sliding his hands up his thighs and sides as he did so, and plants another, warm kiss on Steve's parted lips. The blond brings his hands up to hold Bucky's head, keeping him there for a bit to make the kiss last, before sliding his hands down to explore Bucky's chest.

Feeling this, the brunet releases a pleased sigh, and smiles down at Steve a bit as their lips part.  
"It really is surprisingly chilly." Steve comments suddenly, gaining a laugh from Bucky, the kind that made his whole body shake and his voice rumble low in his chest.

Steve loved that laugh, it always reminded him that he was alive, that Bucky was alive, despite what he'd gone through.

"Well, like I said; let me warm you up then, doll." Bucky whispers into his ear with a playful tone, rubbing his hands against Steve's thighs and making the man beneath shiver in anticipation.  
He cannot stop but snort at the doll comment though, which just makes Bucky snicker more.

"Close your eyes." He then almost orders Steve, who gives him a pointed look.  
"Aren't I the Captain here, Sergeant?"

Bucky bites at his neck in retaliation of that comment, making Steve gasp a bit and laugh.  
"You ain't wearing a uniform, so now you're all mine."

The brunet remarks with a sly grin, and Steve could feel his entire body heat up, though he was smirking right back. The brunet leaned down for one last, heated kiss, repeating his order, and this time Steve does close his eyes.

It was relaxing to just lower your guards for a moment and let Bucky do his magic. 

Steve especially enjoyed the fact how he held back much less now that Steve was stronger and healthier. He was miffed at first when he found out, but now, he just enjoyed the new amount of attention he got from Bucky. 

He felt the calloused hands slide down his chest and stomach slowly, as Bucky sat up, applying pressure to Steve's abdomen and hips.

That feeling alone was enough to send warmth down towards his legs, but then Bucky began to move, just slowly grinding himself against Steve, and the blond man's lips fall open as his entire body twitches, and he begins to mimic the movement just to feel more of the friction between them. 

Of course, Bucky was just toying with him, he was still wearing his pants, so there was layers of clothing separating their skin, but it felt so good already.

Bucky kept this up for a minute or so, his eyes fixated on Steve, looking for every sign of pleasure he could find. The blond man was taking small gasps of air, his hand twitching and grasping the canvas beneath, and he was struggling to keep his eyes closed, as he wanted to see it, the way he knew Bucky was looking at him. 

He was growing steadily aroused beneath the weight, and Bucky hums satisfied as he feels it, grinding a little harder against Steve to make him gasp louder, before suddenly shifting his weight off Steve. 

The blond man moves restlessly, wanting to open his eyes to see what Bucky was doing. 

For a moment all he could feel was cool air pressing against his skin, but then fingers appeared to trail down his lower belly and abdomen, before wrapping around him in one smooth motion, giving him a slow stroke.

Steve gasps louder, as the warm touch of skin felt incredibly hot in the cool air of the room, and his back arches off the bed a bit as Bucky repeats the movement, giving him couple of slow strokes. His hand was warm, and a little damp, Bucky had probably licked it to have some wetness to the touch. He keeps doing this, until Steve lets out a whimper, and his hips jerk off the mattress surface, first bits of liquid leaking off his tip.

The hand then vanishes, and Steve feels Bucky bend forward, his lips pressing against his stomach. He trails down with his lips slowly, until he reaches Steve's groin.

The blond man gasps once he feels the wet touch press against his arousal, and a breathy moan escapes the pink lips when Bucky drags his tongue across Steve's length. 

He flicks it over Steve's tip, before closing his lips around it, sucking him gently. The Captain breathes out another moan, hands grasping the canvas beneath reflexively.  
Bucky knew exactly how to touch, where to press his tongue and lips, how deep to take Steve in, to make him shudder and twist in pleasure in a manner that would surely disarm him by the end of this. 

It had become a bit easier to make Steve turn into melted wax under his hands after the serum, perhaps because his sense of touch was much more sensitive now. 

That did not mean Bucky would tune it down, the opposite actually: he loved the extreme reactions he could get out of Steve now with just flick of a tongue over the right spot.  
The blond did not disappoint; as he drags his tongue up alongside Steve's member again, the man beneath twists and moans out his name, hips jerking upwards.

Bucky hums a bit, pleased with himself, and sucks Steve deeper, wanting to have him vulnerable and begging underneath his touch. 

All the horrors and bullshit he'd been trough, Bucky could put them aside for a moment just to focus on the pleasure filled sounds Steve was making each time his lips dragged up and down Steve's arousal, the gasps and whimpers he let out when Bucky licked him. 

Eventually, Steve could not hold it and first bits of come seep out into Bucky's mouth, which he swallows graciously. 

He mouths Steve's tip a bit longer, then shifts up to look down at the trembling man. Steve was red down to his chest, his lips parted, his breathing so quick he was panting. The usual blue brilliance of his eyes was nearly entirely swallowed by his pupils, and Bucky smirks at the sight.

"Don't be so cocky." Steve manages to huff at him, gaining a hard stroke across his pulsing member, making Steve gasp and drop his head back to the pillow.

He was really tense, lot of heat accumulating to his groin, but not quite enough to burst. That had probably been Bucky's intention though; pleasure him just enough to get a little hazy and breathless, before pausing just to let Steve twist restlessly before the next treat.

He hadn't been this cruel with it before, but once Steve had grown in size, Bucky had turned almost devilish in the bedroom. 

They'd only done this twice before since Steve's growth-spurt, but those two times had taught him a lot.

Steve props himself up to his elbows and looks up at Bucky with lift eyebrow.  
"What? You gonna sit there smugly and watch me squirm?"

The brunet hums, pretending to consider the idea. Steve lifts his leg to kick Bucky playfully, but the man just grasps his ankle and kisses it, sending shivers down Steve's spine.

"As much as I am tempted by the idea, I'm actually just tryin' to decide how to continue."  
Steve takes in a harsher breath as he sees the way Bucky looks at him.  
Then, he slips his leg off Bucky's grasp and sits up, grabbing his male lover and kissing him fiercely, tasting himself at the tip of Bucky's tongue. 

"However you want is fine with me." He whispers against Bucky's mouth, nipping at his lower lip. The brunet hums, enjoying the kiss for another moment or two, before planting a hand at Steve's chest firmly, and pushing him back down to the bed. 

"Wait." He orders again with a hushed tone, and gets up, cracking his neck. 

Steve remains lying down, turning his head to watch Bucky for a moment in dim moonlight. He watched as Bucky slowly tugs his belt off, and takes rest of his clothes off, casually putting them aside, knowing full well Steve was watching.

And he was; seeing Bucky like this always caused a swirl of pride, worry and possessiveness grip Steve's heart.

Pride, because he knew Bucky would not strip down like this to anyone else, worry because he knew he could not really have anyone know of this fact as it could endanger them both, and possessiveness, because again, Bucky would only do this for him.

Slowly, he walks back to the bed, creeping over Steve slowly to press a heat-filled kiss against his parted lips, allowing Steve tug his body against his, letting Steve's hands roam his back and thighs, caress him in gentle, yet heavily intimate manner.  
Steve shifts a bit, pushing his body upwards to grind against Bucky's now bare form, feeling equal hardness between Bucky's legs. The brunet gasps in turn now, responding to the movement for a moment, staring down at Steve hungrily as he did so. 

Finally, as he feels something warm leak from Steve's tip again, Bucky smears it all over Steve's hardness, then pushes himself up, and shifts to sit on Steve's hips, maneuvering himself until the blond man could gently push himself in.

The second the brunet feels that, it's like an electric shock - the good kind, he knew how the bad ones felt - running through his spine, and he tilts his head back, letting out a pleased moan.  
Bucky starts to move his body, swaying back and forth slowly, hands pressed firmly against Steve's belly. 

It hurt a bit, but compared to lot of things he'd been through, Bucky thoroughly enjoyed this kind of pain.

Steve keeps pushing up into him in a slow, lulling manner, hands grasping Bucky's thighs. Soon enough, they'd found a harmonious rhythm to fall into, and Steve lets his eyes slide closed too for a moment as he thrusts up over and over, enjoying the way he slotted inside Bucky almost seamlessly, like it was meant to be.

Eventually, he does open his eyes, finding Bucky look down at him with half-closed eyes. 

Before he can help himself, Steve reaches up to tug Bucky down, kissing him fiercely while he still  
kept pushing into him. Bucky answers the heated kiss with similar fervor, up until he has to pull back to breathe, hands pressed at either side of Steve's head.

The blond man pauses in his movements for a second, noting a slight edge to Bucky's gaze.

"Hey..." Steve whispers softly, brushing trough the short brown hair.  
The man above him takes a deep breath, now looking a little shaky.  
He'd been able to hold it back so far, but now that he'd brought himself into more vulnerable state, his mind was edging closer to the black abyss again.

Feeling Bucky start to shake more violently as the tense moment passed, Steve pulls out of him, and gently maneuvers them until Bucky was now laying underneath him, cocooned in Steve's warmth. 

He rests his head to Bucky's chest and holds his desires back for now, just letting his companion scramble back in control of himself. For a moment, the brunet lays completely stiff beneath Steve, his breathing slightly hitched.

Eventually, his hand comes up to brush and mingle Steve's hair, gesture meant to ground Bucky back into reality rather than make Steve feel good. It did do that regardless though.  
"Maybe we should...."  
"No....just...gimme a moment."

Steve nods and waits, his member still pulsing between his legs. He wanted to continue, as he felt like his insides were turned into molten heat, but Bucky's wellbeing right now was more important.  
Eventually, the brunet's breathing starts to calm, and he tugs on Steve's hair to bring him up for a kiss. The blond obliges, moving his lips gently against Bucky's, making sure he knew that Steve was right there, right there with him.

"Did I do something to trigger it?" Steve whispers quietly after a moment, looking down at his companion concerned. Bucky just shakes his head, looking at him almost pointedly.  
"Don't be a martyr, Steve." He huffs out quietly, both hands sneaking up to wrap around Steve's neck. They both were again inches away from each other, and Steve could feel Bucky press up against him, clearly eager to continue.

"Mind if I..."  
"Yeah, I think....I'd feel better about it this way for now." Bucky agrees to his unsaid question, so instead of shifting back, Steve just reaches down to jerk himself hard again, before grasping the brunet's thighs and pushing into Bucky like this. He keeps his thrusts slow and deep, knowing there was no need to rush things right now; with the way Bucky's eyes were still a little vulnerable, Steve knew getting rough would just make him want to stop.

Eventually, Bucky's eyes close again and he moans out softly, moving his hips in rhythm with Steve's. Their lips find each other again, and their mouths slide together in harmony with Steve's thrusts, making Bucky shiver and moan beneath him.

He'd been in the lead earlier, but when he felt shaky, Bucky did not mind letting Steve take control, especially now when he was all big, bulking and warm muscle and skin.

Then again, in the past he'd not been the one feeling shaky; it had always been Steve.

Eventually, the slow but deep burn pays off, and Steve's hips jerk roughly, as he lets out a louder moan, feeling himself release inside Bucky; he began thrusting in a bit faster as his body was now being raked with hot waves of pleasure.

Bucky lets out an equal whimper as he feels it, wrapping his legs around the man's waist to push Steve deeper into him, grinding against him, feeling pressure build up in his own abdomen as well.

When Steve reaches his hand between them to stroke Bucky a couple of times, it doesn't take him long to orgasm as well, and Bucky throws his head back, releasing a loud moan from his mouth as he spills himself all over Steve's hand and stomach.

After that, they both just slump down, Steve resting on top of Bucky, trying to gather his thoughts.  
Fingers comb through his now slightly messed up blond locks, and he hums at the touch, feeling rather satisfied and sleepy resting there.

You could almost forget the war raging outside, almost if they were still in Brooklyn during a cold winter, snuggled up in each other's arms for warmth.

After a while, Steve shifts to get some of his weight off from Bucky, resting his head to the same pillow. The brunet's eyes were closed, but Steve knew he wasn't asleep.  
He stroked Bucky's stomach idly, placing a soft kiss to his shoulder. The brunet hums at that feeling, but doesn't open his eyes. 

"You ready to go tomorrow?" Steve asks quietly, his voice having a bit of concern in it. If Bucky was not stable enough to go, they could leave him behind for this mission, Steve had enough trusty friends to cover him.

Of course, there is no way Bucky would do that.  
He'd refuse to not be there to watch Steve's six. 

"Yeah." The man mutters out as he opens his eyes, staring at the ceiling. There was weight in his eyes still, the kind Steve would never fully understand, for he had never been in the trenches.  
Slowly, Bucky shifts to face him, resting his forehead against Steve's.  
"It's okay if you need to skip this one; we don't necessarily need a sniper."  
"Bullshit." 

Steve laughs softly, and then wraps his arms around Bucky, tugging him as close as he could, face pressed against his collarbone. There was this lingering fear in his heart again, now that most of the haze had left his head, and Steve could not stop himself from pressing as close as he could, almost if he expected Bucky to disappear if he didn't.  
"I'm not a Teddy Bear, Punk." Bucky laughs softly, voice rough but affectionate, and he slips his hand up again to mingle Steve's fluffed hair. 

"You'll do." The Captain says now a little sleepy; it was hard not to become drowsy when he was cuddled up in Bucky's hold, especially after what they did.  
Steve was already half asleep when Bucky shifted to grab the blanket that had fallen to the floor and covered them both with it, nuzzling his face into Steve's hair. 

"Get some sleep Steve; you gotta be in top condition tomorrow, because I can bet my left arm the boys will tease you if you aren't."

"How so?" Steve mumbles out, tightening his hold on Bucky.

"Cause you'll otherwise have this dope face on, and you don't want Dugan teasing you about it."

Steve could not stop but frown a bit in slight horror; each time they did this, guys would tease Bucky for his obvious laid attitude, but they always assumed it was some USO girl he slept with. Steve could not afford looking like that, for many reasons. 

"Very well, Sergeant. You better not go and brag around about this either."  
Bucky snorts, and then snickers a bit.

"For the record; sleeping with Captain America IS bragging-worthy."  
Steve rolls his eyes at that, nuzzling even closer as a cold chill ran down his spine.  
Eventually, he falls asleep, with Bucky gazing out of the small crack in the window curtains, eyes looking into the unknown. 

 

As one could guess, boys spotted Bucky's relaxed swagger almost immediately the next day, and kept making dirty jokes at him, which they immediately cut off the second Carter appeared to brief them on the mission.

Steve could not stop but glance at Bucky at times, but the man always had this perfectly neutral, focused face on. If he hated Peggy because Steve loved her too, he never showed it.

 

After the mission briefing, everybody heads out to prepare themselves, with Bucky checking on their ammunition and gear. He was cleaning his rifle, when the female agent steps into the tent, looking at him with a cautious frown.

"Sergeant Barnes?"  
"Ma'am." Bucky greets her without lifting his gaze from the task at hand.  
"Steve...Captain has expressed concern over your mental state, requesting if we could let you stay out of this mission."

The brunet lets out an annoyed huff and rubs his eyes, finally looking at Carter.  
"I fuckin' told that asshat not to worry about me - pardon my language - but of course he'd do that. I should have guessed."

He kicks an empty bullet shell aside, hand on his hip as he mingles through his hair irritated.  
"He said you would react like this." Carter comments with a half-smile, and Bucky gives her a tired look.

"Did he now? Tell 'im I'll bloody smack his sorry face into tomorrow if he doesn't cut it out."  
"I'll let Steve know." The woman comments, but doesn't leave. She gazes at the man with an uncertain look in her eyes, like there was something she wished to talk about, but couldn't decide how to bring it up.

As the Sergeant returns to his gun cleaning task however, she sighs and crosses her arms, keeping her voice quiet now.  
"We always worry a lot for those we love."  
"Yeah?" Bucky grunts, he had a feeling she was going somewhere with this.  
"He loves you a lot."  
Bucky huffs out a bitter laugh, checking the barrel before putting the weapon down.

"He kinda makes it too obvious."  
"Yes." Carter gives him a half-smile.

The man lifts his gaze to look at her, and for a moment neither of them spoke.  
".....I'm sorry. I sometimes feel like I am stepping over a boundary I should not." Peggy whispers with a quiet tone, looking aside for a moment. Barnes isn't even surprised.  
"Steve worries about that too; he doesn't get to decide how I feel about it though."

"How do you feel, then?" Carter asks, her intelligent eyes focusing on the Sergeant now, who unlike many men, did not falter under her stare. He was too tired, gone through too much to bother.  
"Honestly? I'm pissy, but not because of the fact he's head over heels for you. I knew that would happen someday with Steve." The Sergeant sighs and leans back against the table now, rubbing his neck.

"Then why?"  
"Because right now, you both seem to act like you're afraid to hurt my feelings or somethin'. I don't own that sorry punk, he's free to love whoever he wants."

"Most people would not see it like this." Carter points out, brushing through her brown locks. She'd met many men over the course of her life, none quite like Steve, but also none quite like the Sergeant. She could never quite get a grasp on this man, how he was really like. 

He acted like a typical New York charmer, but hidden beneath that was layers upon layers of things, darker, heavier things that she could not even fathom. Some of them were clearly caused by the traumas of war, but others, Peggy was sure had always been there.

Barnes could be considered a dangerous man, had he not been on their side.  
Then again, just because he was their ally, it did not make him any less dangerous.

"What I am trying ta' say, that just because I love Steve, it doesn't mean someone else cannot. You don't bloody need permission from me for it. Hell, you're probably the only woman I wouldn't mind handing Steve over to."

Carter could not stop but smile a bit; she could hear the genuine intent in his words, and based on the small bits she could grasp about his being, was that gaining his trust when it came to Steve was one of the hardest things for anyone to do.

Perhaps that's why it felt important, why it bothered both her and Steve.

"You can have his big, dumb heart. I know I always got a place in it, anyway. Besides, I did not sign up to keep it. I signed up to watch his back." 

Bucky straightens himself and grasps his rifle, slipping it over his shoulder as they could hear rest of the team heading towards them. He walks to the tent entrance, and then stops to look at her.

"Because be damned, I'm the only one who can."

He then marches to his team, who greet him with usual joking and screwing around. Steve glances at Peggy with a concerned frown, but she just nods at him with a smile.

The woman watches the team to leave for their task, wishing them good luck - in other words, telling them to break a leg - and then releases a quiet sigh, tugging her coat on tighter.  
"You're a peculiar man, Sergeant." She comments quietly.

 

That day, one man doesn't return from the mission.

**Author's Note:**

> So, this is my first fic, or rather, ficlet that I've posted here. It's really just a warm up thing as I got bigger stories in the works. I hope you'll enjoy it regardless ;)
> 
> Also a side note; This is an older story too, so Apologies for any possible quality issues compared to the other works I'll be posting xD


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